does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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