im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Alive.
So much puke
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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