what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
