with your own penis?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As shirtless as possible
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
