he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
