you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize