It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
