how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
