I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
