i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
