Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
