1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize