I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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