I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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