from now on my penis is your penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Come back. Shots need mouths.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
