So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
