Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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