I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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