He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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