i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
