Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
