I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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