just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
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