Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
