She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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