Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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