This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
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I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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