hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
