You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
