Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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