we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
vagina is talking i cant
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
