just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
