Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize