We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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