first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
