did you get engaged???
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
