1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
