remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize