every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize