One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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