she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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