Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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