singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
