I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
