it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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