Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
