I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
