Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize