Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize