pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
