I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
