I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
