five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
