whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nicole vs. Life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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