i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
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