Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize