My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
