Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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