so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
