TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
