Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
