I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
