I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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